What’s Better Than an Uncomfortable Conversation?

I’ve never been one to make waves.

Okay…I may have a couple of times. Once in the mid 90’s and again in the early 00’s. Neither ended well.

Even hearing people argue is incredibly uncomfortable.

As a result, I avoid conflict.

I hold my tongue, hide my feelings, and provide too much space and too much time in my head for my thoughts because they have nowhere else to go.

Quite frankly, I’d rather clean the hair out of the shower drain than have a conversation that makes my heart race, my armpits sweat and my stomach churn.

Why? It’s quite simple. Fear seems to be the common denominator.

  • I fear people not liking me
  • I fear being wrong
  • I fear not being able to vocalize my thoughts intelligently

I know, I know. I can’t control other people’s perception of me anymore than I can control other people’s behaviors. So somehow, I need to get over that.

And if I desire the truth, then I need to search for it and accept being wrong. I shouldn’t use what I want to be true to dismiss arguments or try to avoid them.

And I’m well aware that saving conversations for those who share my view does not challenge me or make me better.

I don’t think I’m the only one struggling here. Seems quite a few of us are lacking the ability to effectively communicate with each other.

We are easily offended. We talk when we should be listening. We stop listening (if we were even listening in the first place) when we hear something we don’t like. We deflect. We would rather be right or prove a point than find common ground.

We forget to talk to others the way we wish to be talked to.

Something to Eat

Massaman Curry

by Minimalist Baker

This is lovely. So lovely, I double the recipe whenever I make it to ensure plenty of leftovers. And while you may use any type of protein, I highly recommend the spicy peanut butter tofu. Best of all, it’s quite easy to throw together, but it tastes so good people will think you slaved over it all day.

Something to Read

Mere Christianity

by C.S. Lewis

You may remember my word for 2021 is truth. One truth I am seeking is about faith in general, and Christianity specifically. As I was searching for books to provide insight, I came across this book. Written in 1952, it was adapted from a series of BBC radio talks. Lewis uses reason and logic to prove the existence of God, argues the validity of Christianity, defends the religion, and describes the life of a Christian. I hadn’t realized Lewis had been an atheist until his thirties. I enjoyed the book, but found it required a lot of focus to follow his reasoning. (Not a bad thing, mind you; just a thing.)

Something to Ponder

History, faith and reason show the way, the way of unity. We can see each other not as adversaries, but as neighbors. We can treat each other with dignity and respect. We can join forces, stop the shouting and lower the temperature. For without unity, there is no peace — only bitterness and fury. No progress — only exhausting outrage. No nation — only a state of chaos.

Joe Biden

That’s all for this now. I hope your week was filled with many of the things that make your heart happy. Enjoy your weekend!

One thought on “What’s Better Than an Uncomfortable Conversation?

  1. You write so eloquently. Several lines really resonated with me:

    – “I shouldn’t use what I want to be true to dismiss arguments or try to avoid them.”

    – “And I’m well aware that saving conversations for those who share my view does not challenge me or make me better.

    – “We stop listening (if we were even listening in the first place) when we hear something we don’t like. We deflect. We would rather be right or prove a point than find common ground.”

    So true and so well said. I’m also going to make your recipe for dinner tomorrow … it sounds delicious!

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