So, This Patience Thing…Is It Really a Virtue?

Peter was the final straw, but Hannah started it.

I mean honestly. The drama. (One would almost think it was the whole premise of the show.)

Maybe it actually goes back to Colton’s days. I had such high hopes for the self proclaimed virgin, but oh-my-gosh, the fence jumping and subsequent disappearance really did me in.

At any rate, the minute Barb became that mom during Peter’s finale, it was over. I swore off The Bachelor/Bachelorette for good. (After all, I have many, many other things I can be doing on Monday nights during a pandemic.)

The really pathetic part of it all is that I’ve been watching for a long, long time, yet I can’t really remember anything past the last few seasons.

(Though the name Juan Pablo does ring a bell. But it’s not a pleasant sounding bell.)

But probably more important than the ‘when’ I began watching is the ‘why’ I began watching.

For the life of me I can’t figure it out.

The show pretty much goes against everything I believe in.

If you don’t fit society’s standards of attractiveness, you need not apply.

And then there’s the whole intimacy aspect. Seems sex has become as casual as grabbing a drink with a bunch of people after work.

It was quite a relief when I finally realized my choice for the ‘winner’ often deserved a whole lot better than what was being offered as the prize. That was a revelation worthy of a glass of wine.

And is there anyone else out there wondering how, over the course of nine weeks (or thereabouts), you go from “Nice to meet you…” to “Will you marry me?”

Now granted, I could have told you my husband was ‘the one’ early on in our relationship; however, I was not dating dozens of other men at the same time.

And we were living in the real world (going to school, working, grocery shopping, cooking, studying, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, etc., etc., etc.)

Most importantly, the end game wasn’t about ‘winning’. Although let’s be honest. He did. (All right, all right…just being sassy. We both did.)

And it’s just not relationships that are on the fast track. Seems everything has to happen fast these days.

Get rich quick.

Lose weight fast.

Run a marathon with a month’s training.

Get a bachelor’s degree in two years.

Have you ever thought about what we are actually gaining by rushing the journey?

What’s the big payoff?

Seems to me what we are sacrificing is much more valuable than what we are gaining.

When we rush through the process, we don’t reflect. We don’t take the time to pause, to stop and think about our observations and experiences. If we are going to create new meaning in our lives, if we are going to grow and change, this is necessary.

We just aren’t very good at playing the waiting game. We fill our time with activities, so we don’t have to think. We are so busy doing, we miss out on being.

But the waiting is what develops discipline and humility.

And discipline and humility lead to patience.

And patience allows us to calmly and intelligently respond to the world around us.

Something we are in desperate need of these days.

Something to Eat

Simple Tortillas

See these? These are going to change your life. You will become a tortilla snob. You will walk past tortillas in the grocery store and roll your eyes. Why you ask? Because these are absolutely dreamy. Soft. Tender. Chewy. Versatile. From my very first bite, I swore I would never eat a store bought tortilla again. And I haven’t. They are incredibly easy to make, but you don’t need to share that tidbit of information with anyone. Go ahead and throw flour on your clothes, and sprinkle water on your face to make it look as though you put serious effort into these if you must. I make these when we have cauliflower tacos, ‘fish’ tacos, and even grilled veggie wraps (I just make six tortillas instead of eight so they are bigger.) I beg you to give these a try. You will not be disappointed.

Something to Read

Between the World and Me

by Ta-Nehisi Coates

Written as a letter from a father to his teenage son about the realities of being black in the world today, this nonfiction book was passionate, intense, and incredibly uncomfortable to read. But it was a necessary book for me to read. I feel it’s a necessary book for you to read. (And apparently so does Toni Morrison). The author’s perspective provided insight into the issues blacks face each and every day. I didn’t always want to believe what he had to say, but that in itself simply made me part of the problem, and I don’t want to be part of the problem. An eye opening book for anyone who would benefit from having their eyes opened.

Patience is the companion of wisdom

Saint Augustine

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